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Muddy Hell: Glastonbury’s Filthiest Moments

Will Glastonbury 2013 be a muddy one? The jury’s out, but after a year off and a headlining slot from the Stones, you can’t hide from the hype about the biggest festival in the world. Mud or no mud, Glastonbury is still a pretty filthy place to be, thanks to its rickety Portaloos and cesspit-style ‘long-drop’ toilets. Not going this year? While your friends post glamorous hotpants-and-glitter pictures on Facebook, let’s take a look at the reality of Glastonbury. Because beyond the designer wellies and glamorous celebrities, Glastonbury is rather like a particularly grueling endurance test. Watch at home and console yourself with the fact you definitely won’t have to face scenes like this…

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Above: Does this person look happy to you?

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Above: Despite appearances, this is not an image of trench warfare.

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Above: “It seemed like such a good idea at the time.”

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Above: Keep smiling…

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Above: Spot the humans.

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Above: No matter how muddy you get, you can always return to your nice, warm, cosy tent. Oh…

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Above: If you do pitch your tent in a bad spot, just move it. Easy…

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Above: This lady has got the right idea.

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Above: Strongbow, anyone?

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Above: “This isn’t quite what we had in mind, is it?”

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Above: Grim.

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Above: This arrangement with the camping chair as a bag is working just fine.

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Above: “Hi, Mum!”

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Above: Look how cool and carefree we are.

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Above: A walk in the park.

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Above: Sexy.

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Above: We don’t even want to think about how the photographer captured this image of Glasto’s infamous ‘long-drop’ loos, but they were clearly dedicated to the cause. Spot the bums.

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Above: Should have brought goggles.

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Above: Are you alright down there?

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Above: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the flooded camping area, in the hope you’ll arrive at your stuff.

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Above: Every year, dedicated Glastonbury volunteers paint oil drums to make the festival’s famous bins. Not that many people actually use them…

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Above: We are really enjoying ourselves! Honestly, we really, really are.

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Above: White Lightning and a crusty foot: a winning combination.

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Above: The right footwear.

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Above: Nearly there…

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Above: Just think of the washing!

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Above: Best weekend ever.

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Above: Sorry, don’t drive on the what?

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Above: Get a tent.

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Above: Mmmm…

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Above: Don’t slip

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Above: Nice spot for a sit-down.

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Above: Mucky you.

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Above: Sshh…

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Above: Not so convenient conveniences

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Above: Feeling a bit poo.

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Above: Abandoned wellies

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Above: “Weee!” (Literally.)

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Above: So proud.

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Above: Let’s march in solidarity.

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Above: Ah, the beautiful British countryside.

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